15 2 / 2012
Reason #2574 I will never get married (to a straight man)
This is a small piece of an email I just wrote to two of my best friends:
No way, your vanity is totally warranted in this case. Back in the day they used to advise women to keep makeup by the bed so your husband never saw your (not YOURS, of course, but you know, a person’s) plain ugly face. I plan on following that 100%.
Okay maybe not because then he’d be like “WTF is all this shit on the pillow you look like Courtney Love” and then I’d be like, “Ohh Husband, a Courtney Love reference??? This is why I married you! Let’s have a million more babies”
(fin)
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